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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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Women's Rights

Florida’s New 15-Week Abortion Ban Really Opens Up Matt Gaetz’ Dating Prospects

On Thursday, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) helped his state join other Republican-controlled legislatures...
Women's Rights

Texas Man Thinks Wife’s OB is a Groomer Because They Couldn’t Find the Fetus’s Genitals

FT. SHITLIP, TEXAS -- A man in the Lonestar State filed a suit in...
Women's Rights

Pregnant Democrat Still Undecided Whether to Murder or Groom Her Fetus

She has some time to decide, but not all that much time, and 28...
Women's Rights

She’s One of Congress’ Loudest Pro-Life Voices. Ironically, She’s Also a Botched Abortion.

Every Sunday, a devout evangelical believer of Secret Jewish Space Lasers devotes at least...
Lifestyle

Maybe If Real Women Would Talk to Me, I Wouldn’t Get So Worked Up Over Cartoon Ones

The following editorial was submitted to Alternative Facts by William Terwilliger Jones, a popular Bible Belt...
Criminal Justice

Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

SHITDICK FLATS, ILLINOIS -- 42 year old non-union, out of work carpenter Marcus Palumbozo...
Women's Rights

Will Republican Interns Still Be Able to Get Abortions After the Supreme Court Overturns Roe?

This morning, the Supreme Court told abortion providers in Texas they can continue to...
Women's Rights

Fauci Warns MAGAs: You Can Get Omicron from Cousin Despite Taking Ivermectin or Wearing Condom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Appearing before the Senate Oversight and Pumpkin Pie Recipe Committee this...
Women's Rights

Sexual Predator Poised to Give Rapists More Parental Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, one of America's most famous and...
Criminal Justice

Can God Be Prosecuted for Miscarriages if the Supreme Court Throws Out Roe?

There's been awful lot of talk about abortion in America lately. Perhaps that's not...
Women's Rights

Justice Barrett Will Let Her Husband Decide Her Vote on Mississippi Abortion Law

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's unclear whether it was her intention to do so, but...
Women's Rights

Supreme Court To Carefully Consider Pros, Cons Of Forcing Teens to Have Fathers’ Rape Babies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the first time in decades, the United States Supreme Court...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

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