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Hey Libs: Fauci’s Emails Prove Trump Isn’t an Autocratic, Lying, Daughter-Lusting Racist Fuckbag

The following is an editorial written by Dustin Pewpsin, a conservative blogger, podcaster, entrepreneur, cross burner, avid outdoorsman, and Second Amendment enthusiast. The views and opinions expressed by Mr. Pewpsin do not necessarily reflect those of this publication, its...

Leaked Texts Show President Asking Don Jr If He’s Got Any Blow

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- A laptop found in a Manhattan alleyway seems to contain texts between President Donald J. Trump and his son, Donald Trump Jr., and the contents of those text messages have leaked to various media...

Trump Announces Start of “Operation Legendary Fascist Show of Force Against People of Color”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donaldito Trumpolini gave an address to His nation from the White Power House today, announcing alongside Gestapo Generalisimo Guillermo Barr and FBI Director Christopher Wray, that he was authorizing a surge of federal troops into...

Paramount Alleges Trademark Infringement Against Space Force

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy ripoff" of the emblem that has been used as a trademark for the Star Trek franchise for...

Princess Ivanka Tells Media ‘Elites’ Their Criticisms Make Daddy Cry On His Golden Toilet

THE HIGH THRONE OF NEPOTISTIC PALACE, UNICORN LAND -- Princess Ivanka scolded the American media more directly today after she tweeted her thoughts on a video now going viral in right-wing circles. The video depicts CNN anchor Don Lemon...

He Would Rather Be Homeless in California Than Live in Alabama

LOS CONSERVATIVOS CHINGANDOS, CALIFORNIA -- This morning, a day after Christmas, impeached President Donald J. Trump lashed out at Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, the State of California, and its governor Gavin Newsom. Trump is understandably in a...

MAGA Boy: “My Family Didn’t Come Here from Europe to Let No Immigrants In!”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest edition of his podcast, right-wing YouTube star and alt-right country music sensation Jethro Bohiggins said that he is "sick and goddamned tired" of President Trump's "white America First agenda" being overshadowed...

Local Mom and Pop Coffee Shop Only Calls Cops On Black Hipsters

BISCUIT HILLS, PENNSYLVANIA -- When Susan Carolsen heard the news about a Starbucks in nearby Philadelphia being the scene of an arrest of two young, unarmed, black males for loitering, she says she shook her head. Last Monday evening,...

Mark Zuckerberg Enters 20th Hour Explaining To Chuck Grassley That He’s Not The “You’ve Got Mail” Guy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A very patient and stoic Mark Zuckerberg, CEO and co-founder of Facebook, is still sitting in the same chair he sat down in almost a full day ago, explaining to a Republican senator who he is,...
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Gaetz’ Girlfriend Skipped Driver’s Ed Class to Testify Before Grand Jury

This week, a former girlfriend of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) testified before a grand jury. Several legal experts have...
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