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If I Don’t Have a Biden Flag, Biden Shoes, or Biden Bible, Am I Really Voting for Biden?

PROF. McTERRY: And who won the election? JAMES: Well, I don't fuck my cousin, so I know that's Joe Biden. You know, I keep saying that the MAGA political movement is a cult. Largely because, well, it is. However, in dealing with the Cult of FartNaps McDuck, I...

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a few facts about American politics: It's largely a two-party system We vote for presidents once every four years The popular vote doesn't always decide the president Democrats started the KKK...

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I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....

I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way

The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...

If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin Pewpsin. The views...

I Finally Saw Hunter Biden’s Dick. The Bad News for Republicans? It Didn’t Make Me a Fascist.

Midge was so intent on making sure that every American saw Hunter's cock that...

Our Whole Office Chipped-In and Got Ron DeSantis a Disney World Annual Pass to Cheer Him Up

When he rides "Pirates of the Caribbean," he may be off-put by seeing men...

Naming Marjorie Taylor Greene His VP Would Double the IQ of Trump’s Ticket to 46

Former President Donald Trump really wants to make an attempt at a third popular...

Cruz Withholding 2024 Endorsement Until He Hears Every Candidate’s Stance on His Ugly Wife

Though the next presidential election is still over a year away, the machinations involved...

McCarthy: Poor People Should at Least Pretend to Work Like He Does For His Six Figure Salary

"Speaker McCarthy is just getting a little sick and tired of all the Poorsy...

3 Ways to Tell Which Democrats to Expel From Congress for Protesting Gun Violence

Are you a member of a state legislature? Is your state a red state?...

MTG Claims She Saw Leprechauns Planting Pots of Gold Near Southern Border

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told the House Subcommittee on Racist Nationalism today that...

Klansman Supports Florida Republicans Banning Democratic Party From the State

"I am not quite sure why that nice, young man who looks like a...

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If I Don’t Have a Biden Flag, Biden Shoes, or Biden Bible, Am I Really Voting for Biden?

PROF. McTERRY: And who won the election? JAMES: Well, I don't fuck my cousin, so I know...

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...