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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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The War on Drugs

California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID

EL DORADO VERDE  VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Earlier this month, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made...
The War on Drugs

Report: California Man Smokes Legal Weed And Nothing Out Of The Ordinary Happens

RAIN CANYON, CALIFORNIA -- Authorities in California are confirming that over the weekend a...
History

Historians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash

FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA -- In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington's personal cache of...
Business

Starbucks Unveils Hanukkah, Kwanza, Church of Satan Holiday Cups

"We've angered them by taking away one of the 2.3 million retailers who bombard consumers with Christmas.
MAGA News

Jeff Sessions Starts Smoking Weed to Alleviate Stress of Russia Scandal

"This Russia shit is really getting to me, man."
Arts & Entertainment

Weed Declared “Pretty Cool” By Association of Music and Food Fans

The Association of Music and Food Fans, a consortium of people who love both...
The War on Drugs

North American Medical Marijuana Union Announces 4 Things Pot Cures With 100% Success Rates

"This shit is pretty fucking hard to believe, to be totally goddamned honest."
The War on Drugs

Attorney General Sessions Agrees to Update His Anti-Marijuana Rhetoric Four Decades to the 1970s

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is trying to bring a little modernity into his anti-marijuana language and positions. Will it work?
The War on Drugs

Chain Smoking, Fall-Down Drunk DEA Agent Explains Why Pot Is Bad To Cancer Patient

A DEA agent explains stuff.
The War on Drugs

DEA Agent in Colorado Explains Why the Drug War Has Totally Kept People off Pot

One DEA agent explains how successful he thinks the War on Drugs has been.
LGTBQ+

While In Target Bathroom, Republican Nervously Wonders If Man Next To Him Was Born With A Penis

Target's inclusive bathroom policy has one conservative freaked out.
The War on Drugs

Guy Spending 30 Years in Jail For Selling Pot ‘Really Happy For’ Presidential Pardoned Turkey

President Obama has once again performed the Presidential Pardoned Turkey ceremony, and one human inmate is really happy for the gobbler.
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Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

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