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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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Lifestyle

Man and Weed Dealer Have Agreement Not to Discuss Politics

LOS BURRITOS MOJADOS, CALIFORNIA -- Every couple of weeks, 40 year old computer programmer...
The War on Drugs

Is Weed Really Safe? Man Smokes Pot, Suffers Lava Burns 36 Hours Later

How safe is legal weed if you can smoke some literally days later get into an accident?
The War on Drugs

Cannabis Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% in 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with...
Business

Vatican Unveils Papal Vape-als Line of Holy THC Products

THE VATICAN -- Since ascending to the Catholic Church's highest and most important post,...
The War on Drugs

Marijuana Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% Last Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with...
The War on Drugs

7 Signs Your Cat Wants to Get Baked and Watch “Queer Eye” With You

For years, zoologists and veterinarians have known but not understood a curious fact about...
The War on Drugs

Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile

GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his...
History

Historians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash

FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA -- In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington's personal cache of...
The War on Drugs

Economists: Legal California Marijuana Will Make In ‘N’ Out Richer Than God By 2028

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Economists at the National Institute of Cash Money released...
Food and Dining

5 Easy Edible Cannabis Recipes

We asked you to send us your favorite marijuana edibles recipes, because that's how...
The War on Drugs

Nothing Out Of The Ordinary Happens After California Man Smokes Legal Weed

RAIN CANYON, CALIFORNIA -- Authorities in California are confirming that over the weekend a...
The War on Drugs

Jeff Sessions Says He’s Not Surprised ‘That Long Haired, Loony Liberal John Boehner’ Joined Marijuana Firm

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was announced that former Speaker of the House...
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Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

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