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Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I hadn't seen in the previous six thousand times I've looked at them." To this very moment, I'm really not sure why she called me, of all people. We're not friends; we're...

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The Democrats

White House Wants Sinema to Tell Them How Much Attention She Needs to Act Like a Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If President Joe Biden wants his bold new progressive agenda to...
Science & Medicine

Senator Coalfarts McFuckface Doesn’t Want Infrastructure Plan to Pay for Clean Air or Water

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Democrats on the Hill all seem to know the stakes. Time is...
The Democrats

Biden Tells Engineers They Can Reinstall White House Ramps and Stairs Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has authorized White House engineers to reinstall ramps...
The Democrats

Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressional Republicans have begun to close ranks and circle the wagons...
The Democrats

Kyrsten Sinema Fondly Remembers Duping Arizona Voters Into Believing She’s a Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Kyrsten Sinema was chosen by Arizona voters to replace the...
Science & Medicine

Duly Elected Tyrant Uses Lawful Constitutional Authority to Give OSHA New COVID Vaccine Mandate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A stunned MAGA nation looked on in horror yesterday as Comrade...
The Democrats

Webster Changes Definition of “Douchebag” to “See Joe Manchin”

Dictionary publishers have to update their content quite frequently, given how often language evolves....
The Democrats

Cuomo Resigns, Plans to Spend More Time Groping Someone Else’s Family

GRABBINY, NEW YORK -- Gov. Andrew Cuomo of New York (D) announced his official...
The Democrats

Cruz: “Why Is Joe Biden So Afraid to Call My Wife Ugly?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted President Joe Biden today, accusing him...
The Democrats

Cuomo to Resign and Focus on 2024 Run with Bill Cosby as VP

ALBANY, NEW YORK -- In a surprise development, embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo...
The Democrats

Basic White Woman Not Sure She Should Care If People of Color Can Vote

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Kyrsten Sinema (D?-AZ) is the current chair of the Senate...
The Democrats

In The Interest of Bipartisanship, Manchin Supports McConnell Blocking Biden’s SCOTUS Nominees

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Surprising literally no one, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-Moscow) told...
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Latest articles

Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...
MAGA News

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)