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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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The Bible Belt

To ‘Secure Elections,’ Mississippi Republicans Want to Outlaw the 13th and 14th Amendments

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI -- Two states to the east, in Georgia, Republicans have passed a...
The Bible Belt

GA Republicans Propose Segregated Voting Booths

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Republicans in the State of Georgia are not quite yet done...
Religion

Evangelicals for Trump Releases List of “10 Best Pussy Grabbin’ Moments From The Bible”

It's no big secret that one key to the political success of Donald Trump...
MAGA News

Trump Issues Executive Order for Bible Publishers to Delete Commandment Forbidding False Idols

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, during an impromptu press conference and rant session, President...
The Bible Belt

Toothless Kentucky Man Would Never Live in Baltimore

CONFEDERATE FALLS, KENTUCKY -- Sebastian Wilmington is a 36 year old lifetime resident of...
The Bible Belt

Conservative Christian: Rape Pregnancies Are ‘Just God Putting One In You’

CHARLESTON, W. VIRGINIA -- In 2015, West Virginia Delegate Brian Kurcaba (R) made some eyebrows...
The Bible Belt

Man Chanting ‘Send Her Back’ Can’t Locate His Home State on a Map

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Last night, right-wing podcaster, commentator, and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...
The Bible Belt

Tennessee Gov. Signs Proclamation Celebrating Racism

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE -- Earlier this week, Tennessee governor Bill Lee (R) has signed a...
The Bible Belt

Alabama Republicans Propose New State Miscarriage Investigation Unit

STONEWALL COUNTY, ALABAMA -- Just a couple of weeks after Alabama's governor signed a...
The Bible Belt

Alabama Celebrates First Fetal Wedding

RIO SIN DIENTES, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama town, preparations are underway for...
The Bible Belt

Alabama GOP Demands “Arthur” Air Episode Where He Marries His Sister

BAISEURS DE COUSIN EN ARRIÉRE PARISH, ALABAMA -- On May 13th, 2019, PBS aired...
The Bible Belt

Alabama Rape Victim Uses Legally Obtained AR-15 to Perform Own Abortion

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, ALABAMA -- In March, 28 year old nurse and Alabama resident Jane Sampson...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)