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The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I hadn't seen in the previous six thousand times I've looked at them." To this very moment, I'm really not sure why she called me, of all people. We're not friends; we're...

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Sports

Redskins Rename Themselves to Honor Those Offended by Team’s Name Change

After almost nine decades using it, the nickname of the NFL team based in...
Sports

Let These White Sports Fans Show You The RIGHT Way to Use The First Amendment

The Constitution's First Amendment is much like many things in America. It's best understood by white people. So it's probably best you listen to them.
Sports

NASCAR Assures Fans They’ll See Confederate Flag Before Every Final Lap

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA -- Yesterday, NASCAR announced that it was banning the display of...
Sports

Houston Astros in Talks to Sign Tom Brady

HOUSTON, TEXASS -- Major League Baseball's Houston Astros have reportedly reached out to the...
Sports

Trump Supporters Demand Football Hall of Fame Remove Socialist Barry Sanders

The Pro Football Hall of Fame released a statement regarding a "deluge of calls,...
MAGA News

NASCAR Fans Roar Approval as Wealthy Coastal Elitist Pretends to Care About Their Culture

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA -- Not everyone in attendance at the Daytona 500 this past...
Sports

Trump: UFC Crowd Was Booing Hillary Clinton for Not Showing Up For Them to Boo Her

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald J. Trump attended an Ultimate Fighting Championship...
Sports

Kellyanne Conway: Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway, told reporters tonight...
MAGA News

President Says UFC Crowd Booed Hillary for Not Being There For Them to Boo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald J. Trump attended an Ultimate Fighting Championship...
Sports

Kellyanne Conway Says Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway, told reporters tonight...
MAGA News

Trump Orders Washington Nats and Their Fans Deported ‘Back to Maple Mexico’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Immediately upon returning back to the White House from the Washington...
MAGA News

Trump Supporter: America is Terrible and Kaepernick Should Honor America Because It’s Perfect

One conservative man's outrage over Colin Kaepernick not standing for the National Anthem.
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Latest articles

Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...
MAGA News

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)