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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...

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Religion

Greene Spent Easter Sunday Worshiping Her Savior and His Son, Donald Trump Jr.

Marjorie Taylor Greene spent her Easter Sunday worshiping her lord and savior like so many other right-wing American Christians did.
LGTBQ+

Pat Robertson: God Wants Republicans to ‘Crotch Check’ Student Athletes

The 80+ year old televangelist said Jesus told him personally he needs to protect the "integrity" of sports by feeling up student athletes before their games.
Arts & Entertainment

Jesus Says Lil Nas X Can Grind on Him in His Next Video as ‘An Olive Branch to MAGA’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, the son of Larry "God" Schumway...
LGTBQ+

Pope Francis Says Catholic Church Can Still Bless and Cover-Up Same-Sex Molestations

VATICAN CITY, VATICAN -- Pope Francis issued a statement this weekend barring priests in...
Religion

Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop...
Conservative Media

Satan Tells Limbaugh to ‘Fuck Off Out Of Here’

HELL -- Satan "Billy" Beelzebub does not want recently deceased radio host Rush Limbaugh...
Religion

Confused Evangelical Still Can’t Find Anti-Abortion Verses in Bible

CORNHOLE FALLS, IDAHO -- Chad McMichaels is a 36 year old devout, born again...
Pew Pew!

Obama Hopes Biden Remembers How to Take Everyone’s Guns, Jobs, and Bibles

UNDISCLOSED SHARIA COMMIE SOCIALIST BUNKER, SOROSLAND -- It's been four long years since Agenda...
Religion

Jesus H. Christ: “Joel Osteen is a Disgusting Capitalist Fuck Giblet”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway and...
Religion

3 Ways to Tell If You’re in a Cult or Believe in a Vast Electoral Conspiracy Without Evidence For Another Reason

Are you in a cult? Before you answer that, stop and really think it over. MORE:...
Religion

5 Christmas Gifts That Will Help The Special Cultist In Your Life Process Losing an Election

Christmas is on the way, and the waterfowl are beginning to put on extra...
MAGA News

The Actual Jesus Christ Wrote This Letter to Kayleigh McEnany and Asked Us to Publish It For Him

The following was received by this outlet late last night. After contacting the offices...
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Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

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