The Political Garbage Chute

Democrats Will Just Debate a Literal Sack of Shit in 2024

This week, the Republican National Committee officially ended its relationship with the commission that has run presidential debates for decades. Perhaps to the surprise of few who have paid attention to the right's complaints about presidential debates for quite...

Of Course I Believe a Billionaire Wants to Protect My Freedom of Speech. I’m a Fucking Moron.

What's all this fuss about Elon Musk's hostile takeover attempt of Twitter? By now, don't we plebs understand that rich, white men are absolutely entitled to take with hostility anything they so desire? So what if Elon's family got rich on the...

When Glenn Greenwald Can’t Sleep, He Lays in Bed and Counts Dead Ukrainians

There is only one real, authentic, actual journalist left in the world. Luckily for humanity, Glenn Greenwald, Super Journalist, happens to have impeccable, flawless journalistic integrity, and if you don't believe him, Glenn will give you all kinds of...

Putin Endorses Trump’s Endorsement of Dr. Oz

Last week, former President Donald Trump attempted to play kingmaker again, and waded into a hotly contested Republican Senate primary race. Trump seemed to upend the political calculations of his party when he endorsed fellow TV carnival barker Dr....

Report: Marjorie Taylor Greene Doesn’t Let Water Within 20 Feet of Her

Ever since she was sworn into office in January of 2021, freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) has required her staff to abide by certain rules. According to sources with knowledge of the situation, Greene's employment guidelines are simple,...

Tennessee Man Can’t Talk to New Bride About Their Florida Honeymoon While in Florida

This summer, while she waits to start her senior year of high school, 16-year-old Mary Lee will be taken to Florida so that she and her husband Andy, 38, can have their honeymoon. The Lees aren't married yet, not...

Glenn Greenwald Only Drinks Wine at Least 30 Years Younger Than He Is

The World's Only Ethical Journalist, Glenn Greenwald, told Russian Marionet Magazine in a new interview that he's "still very committed to smugly pointing out the lies and propaganda of liberal journalists" while appearing on Tucker Carlson's show. Greenwald indicated that he...

If Musk Gets Controlling Stake, The First Thing He’ll Do Is Change Twitter’s Name

Billionaire Elon Musk recently purchased enough shares of Twitter to hold just under 10% of the total. It's not enough for him to gain a controlling interest in the social media company, however rumors are that Mr. Musk is...

Donald Trump Has Been Reinstated as President. Of the Mar-A-Lago Buffet Line.

Finally, after almost two years of waiting, it happened. His wishes came true. The truth came out. He has been vindicated. Donald Trump is once more president. Of the Mar-A-Lago Buffet Line. MORE: Greene Says She Identifies as ‘Madison Cawthorn But...

Greene Says She Identifies as ‘Madison Cawthorn But Without a Dong’

During a recent episode of Steve Bannon's podcast, freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) was asked for her feelings on the spate of laws passed or proposed in red states that seek to dramatically tamp down on transgender athletes'...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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