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The Second Amendment Clearly Doesn’t Apply to People Whose Genitals I Haven’t Seen

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and podcaster Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet or staff. Every American patriot knows that there is one...

After TN Christian School Shooting, NRA Wants Armed Gods in the Classroom

By now, most Americans have realized that mass shooting events at schools are just a normal part of our shared culture. Otherwise, if the United States didn't consider dead school children a routine part of life, liberty, and the...

After Recent Mass Shootings, George Santos Apologizes for Inventing the Gun

Just this week, three separate mass shootings rocked California, a state with relatively stronger gun laws. Whether or not  more permissive laws in neighboring states like Nevada or Arizona play a role in the number of guns that can...

NRA Congratulates California on Two Mass Shootings in Two Days

This week, California saw to two deadly mass shootings in two consecutive days. They mark the 38th and 39th mass shootings this year, though there have been fewer than thirty days that have elapsed thus far. In response to the...

Boebert Gives Up Right to Vote, Bear Arms, & Hold Office Because the Constitution Never Changes

"The Constitution is not evolving. To say that spits in the face of every single one of our founders." - Congressdumb Lauren Boebert (Q-CO), via Twitter WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's unclear when, but at some point in the next several...

Matt Gaetz Poses With Someone Else’s Daughters Holding AR-15’s for His Christmas Card

Never one to pass up an opportunity to join in on the fun his Republican colleagues are having, Congressman Matt Gaetz posted his family's Christmas card to social media today. At least, Rep. Gaetz posted a Christmas card that...

Condolences Overwhelmed Rep. Thomas Massie’s Office After He Publicized His Micro-Penis

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Thomas Massie (Q-KY) is being cheered by his colleagues on both sides of the aisle, a rare feat these days. Both Republicans and Democrats are giving Massie a thumbs-up for the courage it took for...

Michigan High School Hosts America’s Most Recent Mass Second Amendment Demonstration

OXFORD, MICHIGAN -- Three students are dead, and six others have been injured in America's latest Second Amendment Demonstration. Authorities say the 15-year-old organizer and lead activist in yesterday's demonstration has been taken into custody, but because they are...

Rittenhouse Offered to Shoot Someone on 5th Avenue for Trump During Their Mar-A-Lago Meeting

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDUH -- Former, one term, tiny-donged, daughter lusting, twice forever impeached President Don Trump revealed recently that he and acquitted double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse had a meeting at his Florida resort. Just days prior, Rittenhouse was acquitted on all charges...

Rittenhouse’s Mother Unsure Whether to Seat Him at Kids’ Table or Murderer’s Table

ORENTHAL, ILLINOIS -- For the first time in over a year, Wendy Rittenhouse will have her son back home for Thanksgiving later this week. However, she told Fox News this morning that Kyle's return is already "throwing a wrench"...
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I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
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