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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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Greene Will Chair House Subcommittee on Presidential Offspring Dick Pics

When Rep. Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) squeaked through on his fifteenth attempt to secure enough...
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GA Grand Jury Wants to Indict Trump on Charges of Being a Daughter Lusting Sore Loser

A grand jury in Georgia has concluded its work, and according to several sources,...
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House GOP Will Investigate If Biden’s Missing Docs Contained Obama’s Real Birth Certificate

House Republicans announced today that they intend to open a congressional investigation whether classified...
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She Can’t Spell “FAA” But She’s Certain the Outage is Pete Buttigieg’s Fault

No one has ever accused Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) of being intelligent, but that...
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Hawley Signals Support for Gaetz and Boebert Stopping Peaceful Transfer of Power to McCarthy

On his way into pretending to work in the U.S. Senate today, Senator Josh...
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Rep. George Santos Claims He Cured Cancer Right Before Being Sworn Into Office

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) is one of the newest members of the House of...
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Gaetz Wants House Republicans to Make Trump’s Balls Next Speaker

Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is working hard behind the scenes to convince his fellow...
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January 6th Committee Recommends DOJ Charge Trump With ‘Being a Li’l Crybaby Bitch’

Yesterday, the January 6th Special Select Committee met for the final time and issued...
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Op-Ed: Give Me Hunter Biden’s Dick Pics or Give Me Death!

  The following editorial was submitted to this outlet by Dustin Pewpsin, a self-described "alpha...
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Local Domestic Terrorist Really Wants You To See Hunter Biden’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) recently told reporters in the nation's...
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Madison Cawthorn’s Kink Is Brazen, Shameless Hypocrisy and Self-Loathing

A new video has leaked online that reportedly shows freshman Congressman Madison Cawthorn (Q-NC)...
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Jan 6 Committee Wants to Ask Meadows When He Knew Trump Was a Little Bitch Who Can’t Handle Losing

The House committee investigating the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021 sent letters to...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)