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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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Arts & Entertainment

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't...
Criminal Justice

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...
Conservative Media

What If Trump Uses Ivanka’s OnlyFans to Payoff His Rape, Defamation, and Fraud Fines?

"...it turns out Eric Trump  spent all his money this week on magic beans...
MAGA News

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....
Criminal Justice

I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the...
MAGA News

As Soon as Ron or Nikki Insults Heidi Cruz, I’ll Know Who I’m Voting For

The following editorial was written by Dustin Pewpsin, a right-wing commentator, current Fox News...
MAGA News

Trump Tells Ivanka He’s Going to Pinch Her No Matter How Much Green She’s Wearing

Today is St. Patrick's Day, and nobody knows that better than former, one term,...
MAGA News

In 2024, Republicans Will Choose Between Trump, DeSantis, or Another Form of Cancer

Believe it or not, Americans are only about 20 short months away from choosing...
MAGA News

World’s Richest Alt-Right Twitter Troll Calls for QAnon Shaman’s Release

Elon Musk, the world's richest alt-right Twitter troll, used his account on that social...
Arts & Entertainment

DeSantis Demands Disney World Close ‘It’s a Small World’ Because It Promotes Woke Globalism

"...the only black automatons we tolerate are Candice Owens and Ben Carson." - Gov....
MAGA News

George Santos: “I Never Would Have Invented Locomotives if I Knew Biden Would Let Them Crash!”

Rep. George Santos (Q-NY) told reporters today that he has "many, many, many regrets"...
MAGA News

My Kids and I Are Breathing Toxic Soup and It’s Your Fault. But Thanks for the Branded Water?

The following was sent to our editorial board from Clark Sparkler, a lifelong resident...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)