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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...

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Lifestyle

Op-Ed: We Need to Leave Our Confederate Statues in Place, But Never Talk About Why They Exist

The following editorial was written and submitted by Floriduh Governor Ron DeSantis (Q). The...
Lifestyle

I’m a Gay Teacher From Florida. Is It Illegal For Me To Introduce Myself To My Class Now?

The following editorial was written by Gerald Farthing, a 36 year old English teacher...
Lifestyle

Ghost of General Lee to Appear at 2022 CPAC

This weekend, conservatives from all over America will meet in the one place they...
LGTBQ+

Free Speech Defender Wants Teachers Arrested For Talking About Racism or Gay People In Florida

TALAHASSE, FLORIDUH -- You would be hard-pressed to find a politician who professes his...
Lifestyle

Maybe If Real Women Would Talk to Me, I Wouldn’t Get So Worked Up Over Cartoon Ones

The following editorial was submitted to Alternative Facts by William Terwilliger Jones, a popular Bible Belt...
Lifestyle

New Fashion Trend: Wearing Your IQ on Your Hat

There's a hot new fashion trend these days, and we just had to report on...
Lifestyle

Greene Decries ‘Cancel Culture and Fascism’ as She Chucks a Copy of “Maus” Into the Bonfire

INCESTLAND, GEORGIA -- Recently, a school board in Texas gained notoriety when it ordered...
Lifestyle

Jim Jordan: “We Wouldn’t Have to Ban Books if the Left Would Just Let Us Burn Them Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressdouche Jim Jordan (Q-OH) appeared on OANN this morning and defended...
Lifestyle

Greene: “Black History Month is a Marxist Attack on Americans Who Want to Ignore Black People”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today is the first day of Black History Month, but not...
Lifestyle

If We Can’t Fantasize Sexually About the Green M&M or Minnie Mouse, the Commies Already Won

The following editorial was written and submitted to The Political Garbage Chute by Congressman Matt Gaetz...
Lifestyle

Rand Paul Tried to Filibuster Sunrise on MLK Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) stood on the Senate floor...
Lifestyle

Man Shares Inspirational MLK Quote Right Before Calling CRT “Racist Marxism” in Comment Section

Social media historians are calling it one of the most interesting moments of the...
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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