Humor/Satire

Jim Jordan Blames Cancel Culture for His Miniscule Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Jim Jordan has a very, very, very, very small dick. Jordan's dick is so small that Former President Donald Trump's dick...

Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn't running because it's a federal holiday. Today is...

Impeachment: Hawley Says He Hasn’t Heard Convincing Evidence From Within Trump’s Peepee Hole

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From his vantage point, Senator Josh Hawley (Q-MO) says he hasn't seen any evidence that should convict the former president of...

Babylon Bee Staff Identify as Comedians Though They Share Only One Joke Between Them

In practice, they're a cadre of Christofascists who wrap their theocratic beliefs in the banner of alleged "satire." However, on paper and official government...

Former President Says His Balls are ‘Really Bigly Missing’ Devin Nunes and Ted Cruz These Days

LAKE DUMFUK, FLORIDA -- He hasn't even been out of power for a full month yet, but sources close to the 45th President of...

AOC Reiterates She’ll Never Fuck Anyone Who Writes For the Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how many attempts at satire they write at her expense, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will not now, nor will she...

Americans Shocked to See Rich Middle-Aged White Conservative Woman Pretend She’s a Victim

It was a shocking scene in the nation's capitol today. Not because it was the site of another deadly insurrection inspired by the Big...

Biden Politely Declines Lindsey Graham’s Offer of Four Years of Public Beejers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The note President Biden sent to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) yesterday morning contained a very short message. "Thanks, but no thanks, Lindsey." MORE:...

Gaez Blames Cancel Culture for His Inability to Bring a Woman to Climax Even Once

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there is one thing Congressman Matt Gaetz loathes, it's sobriety. Another thing he despises is "cancel culture." Though many conservatives have...

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