Humor/Satire

Patriotic American Rooting For Socialist Countries to Beat U.S. Women’s Soccer Team

WHISTLING DICK LAKE, FLORIDA -- 34-year-old Marcus Palumbo is a self-described "über patriot," and often tells his friends he "bleeds red, white, and blue."...

Scientists Unable to Predict if Ted Cruz Can Evolve Past Booger-Eating Fascist Stage

To say that Ted Cruz's political career is unique would be an understatement, given that he is -- at least as far as anyone...

Patriot Will Get Vaccinated If The Sunlight He’s Shooting Up His Ass Doesn’t Work First

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins has already fought off two COVID-19 infections, but as he told his audience...

Data Suggests Literally Nobody Gives a Fuck What Ted Cruz Thinks About Anything

Does anybody in America actually give a fuck what Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) thinks about any given subject? New data seems to suggest not...

Jenna Ellis Leaves GOP to Form ‘Trump’s Balls Party’

MT. SHITDICK, COLORADO -- Jenna Ellis, an attorney who represented former, one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump's efforts to steal last year's...

Trump’s CPAC 2021 Speech Was So Full of Shit, He Had to Write it in an Outhouse

This weekend, former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached President Donald J. Trump retreated to a place of familiar comfort, a safe space for his ego. In...

Lying Sociopath Still Won’t Shut the Fuck Up and Accept His Failure

FART-A-LOT-GO, FLORIDA -- Out in the nation's Hanging Dong State, a tubby, elderly, sundowning, most assuredly senile white collar crook and dangerous, lying sociopath...

Whiny Snowflake Troll Suing Twitter and Facebook for Having Rules He Refused to Follow

DIPPSHITT, NEW JERSEY -- In front of a small group of his friends, a whiny snowflake and former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached president announced that...

New Poll: 60% of Republicans and 100% of Morons Back Trump in 2024

In American history, few men have lost a presidential election only to come back and win one later, though in the past six decades,...

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