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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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History

President Says Constitution Signers Were ‘Never Trumpers’ Who Planned a Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just moments ago, President Donald J. Trump accused James Madison, Benjamin...
History

President Orders James Madison Arrested for Plotting Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has issued a direct order to the Justice...
History

New York to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps to quiet a growing controversy, and make amends...
History

John Adams Once Called The King of England for Dirt on Thomas Jefferson

While the nation's political and governmental institutions grapple with an authentic constitutional crisis, debating...
History

President Pauses to Honor the Victims of 7/11

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump and Secondary First Lady Melania Trump...
History

Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, President Donald Trump signed permanent funding for 9/11...
History

Trump Says His ‘Guys’ Will Find Ark of The Covenant and Holy Grail Within First 100 Days if Re-Elected

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has ordered that his administration mount an...
History

Only 12% of Trump Supporters Can Get Through All 15 Pictures of Constitutional Checks and Balances. Can You?

Recently, researchers at the Global Online Institute of Looking Into and Verifying Things conducted...
History

Navy Reveals Washington Won Its First “Top Flintlock” Trophy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Officials with the U.S. Navy have confirmed today that George Washington...
History

How and Why Benjamin Franklin Invented Overhead Storage Compartments

The stories of America's aviation and aeronautics contributions to humankind are of course legendary...
History

George Washington Ended a Terror Attack With a Solo Flight in His Stealth Bomber

For this week's installment of Unreal History, we present the story of when George...
History

Historians Unearth George Washington’s Pilot License

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the national archives have uncovered a document linked to...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

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