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Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...

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Food and Dining

El Presidente Trump’s Guide to Mexican Cuisine

Whether you're a guest in one of his luxurious summer concentration camps, or a...
Food and Dining

Celebrity Chef E. Schrödinger’s New Restaurant Is Now Open..Or Is It?

RIO DE LOS GATOS, CALIFORNIA -- World renowned Austrian Chef E. Schrödinger's new restaurant...
Business

McDonald’s Unveils New “McF#ckIt” Burger For Customers Who Just Don’t Care Anymore

OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS -- Fast food monolith McDonald's told investors today that a brand...
Business

Trump Supporter Suing El Pollo Loco To Change Name to “Crazy Chicken”

"We talk English here in America."
Food and Dining

President Trump Declares National Emergency When He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at...
Food and Dining

Trump’s Best Irish American Friend Ronald Says The President Has ‘Exquisite Taste in Hamberders’

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- While overseas on a state visit to the United Kingdom this...
Food and Dining

White House Caters Cinco de Mayo Luncheon with Taco Bell

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration continued its recent trend of catering events at...
Business

Arkansas MAGA Supporter Wants Taco Bell Shut Down For ‘Being Too Mexican’

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- When Clem O'Connell walked into the Taco Bell in his town...
Food and Dining

McDonald’s Debuted New ‘Big Muck’ Hamberders at Clemson White House Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With the federal government entering its fourth week of historic shutdown...
Business

Burger King Preps 60,000 Mexican Replacement Robots

Miami, FL -- Burger King Corporation announced today that it plans on replacing its...
Business

McDonald’s Debuted Their New ‘Big Muck’ Hamberders at Clemson White House Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With the federal government entering its fourth week of historic shutdown...
Business

Trump Hotels Will Start Offering Fine Smocked Salmon and Other Meats Starting in 2019

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Donald Trump Jr. announced today that all Trump hotels...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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