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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...

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Business

Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

FORT PHARDT, INDIANA -- An angry, maksed mob appeared at a local Taco Bell...
Food and Dining

White House Admits It’s Been Feeding Trump Cheeseburgers and Calling Them Hydroxychloroquine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Trump dropped quite a bombshell on the American people....
Food and Dining

Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown

SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY -- They don't know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky's...
Food and Dining

Taco Bell Unveils New “Nacho Cheese Chalu-IPA” Craft Beer

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA -- Alleged food purveyor Taco Bell will be the latest California-based company...
Food and Dining

White Claw Reveals Its 7 Least Popular Flavors

Adult beverage maker White Claw has become quite popular over the last year or...
Food and Dining

Papa John’s Unveils New “Deep Dish Deep State Pizza”

Flagging sales inspire a new "pizza" variety.
Food and Dining

Restaurant Brands International Announces New “Retail Euthanasia” Venture

TORONTO, SOCIALIST HELL HOLE OF CANADA -- As Burger King takes less and less...
Food and Dining

5 Restaurants You Simply Must Get Food Poisoning From

Not to sound too controversial, but food is pretty important to the human experience....
Food and Dining

White Woman Already Sh***ing Pure Pumpkin Spice

The calendar has just barely turned over into September, but 35 year old Katherine...
Food and Dining

Trump Calls Domino’s Pizza “The Enemy of the People” for Forgetting His Hot Wing Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The list of people, businesses, and government officials who President Donald...
Food and Dining

Trump Hereby Orders Burger King to Always Give Him Extra Ketchup Packets

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump broke yet new rhetorical ground in his presidency....
Food and Dining

President Runs Out of Dipping Sauce and Declares ‘National McNugget McMergency’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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