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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...

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Food and Dining

Former President Trump Prefers His Classified Documents Well Done and Drenched in Ketchup

As the time goes on from when they leave office, much can be --...
Food and Dining

Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- At the time of publication, right-wing podcaster and self-described...
Food and Dining

Golden Corral Taps Tucker Carlson to Promote “Patriot Binge and Purge” Loyalty Program

This week, Fox News will begin airing a docuseries produced by noted white nationalist...
Food and Dining

Pro-Life Baker Devastated When Open Bag of Flour Spills and Aborts His Cake

SCHLAFLY RIVER, TEXAS-- 56-year-old Kellen Masteroni has been a baker in his small Texas...
Food and Dining

Palm Beach Burger King Cook ‘Wouldn’t Bet’ on Trump Winning in 2024

PALM BEACH, FLORIDUH -- Juan Miguel Vincente, 32, has been working at the Burger...
Food and Dining

5 Sandwiches to Order Instead of Administering the Heimlich Maneuver to a Choking Mitch McConnell

It's happened to so many of us we've probably lost count. You walk into a...
Food and Dining

One Had Well Done Steak, The Other Had Trump Dick

It was a night one of them would never forget, and that was forgotten...
Food and Dining

Trump Left Behind Unpaid $1 Million McDonald’s Tab for Biden Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presidential transitions take time, and as such, it can be months...
Business

Trump to Visit the Border Between Burger King and McDonald’s

"Someone of my stature, of my importance, should not have to wait even a minute for his Big Mac and his Whopper."
Food and Dining

Sure Marjorie Taylor Greene is an Unhinged Racist, But She Makes Amazing Grits!

Freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-MAGAstan) has had quite a first couple of weeks...
Food and Dining

QAnon Shaman Won’t Eat Unless Its Organic or Trump’s Ass

While in federal custody, Jacob Chansley -- known worldwide now as "The QAnon Shaman" --...
Food and Dining

Stephen Miller Plans to Go from Working at the White House to Working at a White Castle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whenever a presidential administration comes to a close, there are dozens...
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Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

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