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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...

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Economy

Sanctions Force Putin to Cancel Trump Family’s Quarterly Bonuses

When Russian President Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine last week, it's difficult to know if...
Economy

When Did George Soros Have “Capitalism” and “Christianity” Taken Out of the Constitution?

In school, most of us learn that the United States of America literally invented...
Economy

Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) unveiled legislation that would institute...
Economy

White House Tells Paul They’ll Send KY the Bootstraps He Wanted to Send After Hurricane Maria

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Soon, thousands of bootstraps will be delivered to local emergency response...
Economy

Man Can’t Find Clitoris or Woman to Debate Gender Wage Gap With Him

CELIBATE HILLS, NEW JERSEY -- 28 year old Matthew J. Palumbo is what many...
Economy

Are All Anthropomorphic Penile Scabs Billionaire Sociopaths?

This publication's sole mission is to find the answers to questions that other outlets...
Economy

Elon Musk Is Clearly a Better Person Than Bernie Sanders, and Here Are 5 Facts to Back That Up

One of Twitter's hottest beefs of the last month has been between Sen. Bernie...
Economy

Local Idiot Thinks Presidents Control Gas Prices

BARONTOWN, MISSISSIPPI -- Town moron and well-known local idiot Matthew Palumricci admits that he...
Economy

Biden Says Treasury Will Add “In Soros We Trust” to All Currency

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has directed the United States Treasury to prepare...
Economy

Rand Paul Self-Certifies as Lawyer, Says Nothing Wrong With Wife’s Stock Trade

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Doctor Rand Paul (Q-KY) and his wife might have been...
Economy

Can You Identify What’s “Communism” and What’s an “Average Social Program in the 21st Century?”

If you've spent any time on social media recently, and if you've expressed an...
Economy

Bezos Calls His First Spaceflight “One Giant Leap for Billionaire Assholes”

This morning, Amazon founder and former CEO Jeff Bezos became the second billionaire in...
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Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

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