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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

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Business

Ivanka Starting to Regret Sleeping Her Way to Top of Trump Organization

https://youtu.be/GKVymq0G_Z0 Recently, former First Lady Ivanka Trump sat down for an interview with Vapid Heiress...
Business

Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions

THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS  -- In the failed capitalist state of Texas, millions...
Business

Responding to Backlash, There Will Soon Be an Inbred, Anti-Vaxxer White M&M

McLEAN, VIRGINIA -- When executives at Mars, Incorporated approved updates to anthropomorphized human M&M...
Business

Listerine Contradicts Ron Johnson, Says It’s Intended for Recovering Alcoholics Sneaking Booze

Mouthwash maker Listerine is not useful in fighting COVID-19, the company said in a...
Business

Stephen Miller Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott ‘Reverse Racist’ Black Friday

This week, millions of Americans will celebrate Thanksgiving. Some will embrace a traditional, more...
Business

Starbucks Rolls Out Hanukkah, Kwanza, Church of Satan Holiday Cups

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Coffee purveyor Starbucks announced three new holiday cups will start making...
Business

Bleach and Coat Hangers Sold Out in 65% of Texas Counties

In well over half of the counties in Texas, consumers won't be able to...
Business

Greene Signs Deal to Be Star of New Line of Pro-MAGA Toys: My Little Ponyface

A new line of toys designed for "growing little fascists" has inked a major...
Business

Amazon Starts Same-Day Coat Hanger Deliveries to All Texas Counties

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Retail monolith Amazon is adding a new service to certain states...
Business

Mike Lindell Drops Fox News Ads to Promote MyPillow at Gun Shows and Klan Rallies Instead

Mike Lindell is still feuding with Fox News, angry that the conservative cable news...
Business

Mike Lindell Starts “MyCrackPipe”

LAKE AMPHETAMINE, MINNESOTA -- During a press conference held from his own basement this...
Business

A Complete List of Every Obama Company Under Criminal Indictment

Yesterday, Americans awoke to the news that one of their former presidents was back...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

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