Brett Favre ‘Thankful’ for Career Full of Head Injuries That Inspired Him to Vote for Trump

Yesterday, former NFL quarterback Brett Favre made national headlines. It’s not something that is necessarily new to Favre. Over the course of several years, playing for teams like the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings, Favre consistently made news as one of the winningest and successful champions at his position in the game of American rules football.

However, yesterday, Mr. Favre made headlines for something not even related to a sporting contest between athletic men in heavy pads. Yesterday, Favre waded into the political spectrum and endorsed a candidate for president. Namely, Favore endorsed President Donald Trump, as controversial a presence in the executive branch as ever there was one. Not typically known for his political outspokenness, Favre gave quite a ringing endorsement to the pretend businessman who has occupied the White House for the past four years.

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In a tweet, Favre said his “vote” is for “what makes this country great.” He then listed things like “freedom of speech & religion.” However, he didn’t take an updated stance on whether football players should have the right to protest the national anthem. Favre had previously been critical of former quarterback and NFL star Colin Kaepernick for protesting police brutality by kneeling for the national anthem.

Needless to say, with 2020 being such a hotly contested and closely-watched election season, Favre wasn’t going to be able to endorse either major party’s candidate without being asked questions about that endorsement. This morning, during a live radio interview, Favre was asked about his decision to endorse President Trump. Favre told the radio host conducting the interview that he believes his career in the NFL “deeply prepared” him to “see things the Trump way.”

“Well, I don’t think anyone should be surprised by me supporting Trump. I played a game for many years that injured my brain, like, a lot,” Favre explained this morning. “I gotta tell you, I’m really thankful for all those head injuries. Because they’ve made me see that a reality-TV game show host who couldn’t make casinos profitable and claimed to lose billions of dollars while simultaneously boasting about his business acumen.”

Favre doesn’t believe he’d be able to endorse Trump if he’d been a professional in another sport.

“If I had played in a single sport that was less injurious to my brain, I probably would not find myself in the position to endorse this man,” Favre said. “But you know football prepared my brain for this quite well, I think. And also? Ice cream, daisies, two scoops of raisins, Taco Bell, magnifying glass, cell phone, person, man, woman, TV.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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