COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster, YouTube star, and country music sensation Jethro Bohiggins jumped into the fray and harshly criticized Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for saying that the Trump administration is putting separated migrant families into concentration camps.
“What an insulting, unpatriotic, and frankly rude thing for AOC to say! How dare she say that Trump’s got concentration camps,” Bohiggins asked rhetorically. “The man can’t concentration for shit and has to take adderall through the nose, so if anything he’d be running lack of concentration camps, don’t you think, fam? I do, and I know if I say it with enough conviction in my voice, you’ll ignore the fact that what I’m saying doesn’t actually make any sense.”
Ocasio-Cortez rankled many Trump loyalists when she said during a live video stream on Instagram that the White House is putting children taken from their parents at the border into concentration camps. Almost immediately, right-wing media pounced on her. Bohiggins happily joined that chorus.
“This is just another typical lie from the socialist Dems. They ain’t concentration camps,” Jethro assured his audience, “they’re guarded compounds for the imprisonment of ethnic minorities! It’s just that simple, fam! Checkmate, libtards!”
Rep. Ocasio-Cortez has vigorously defended her comments and doubled-down on them.
We are calling these camps what they are because they fit squarely in an academic consensus and definition.
History will be kind to those who stood up to this injustice.
So say what you will. Kids are dying and I’m not here to make people feel comfortable about that.
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) June 19, 2019
“How dare AOC say that just because we’re putting people of certain specific ethnic backgrounds into large groups and putting those groups behind bars that those are concentration camps,” Jethro railed. “That idiot should crack open a book. I mean, there’s a huge difference between Hitler’s camps and Trump’s camps — there aren’t any swastikas on Trump’s camps!”
Jethro joined the throng of conservative commentators harping on Ocasio-Cortez for making a comparison between Trump’s camps and the ones used during Adolf Hitler’s genocidal reign of terror in Germany. Despite the fact that Rep. Ocasio-Cortez didn’t even mention Hitler or the Third Reich in her Instagram video, Bohiggins says it shows a “stunning lack of knowledge” for her to have made the comparison.
“I mean, hello, we all know Nazis were commie loving socialists, even though the commies are the ones who killed the most Nazis on the Russian front,” Jethro said. “But I’m not sure how to square those things without making me feel sad, so I’m just gonna shout, ‘CHECKMATE LIBTARDS’ into the microphone.”
Bohiggins says that detained migrants shouldn’t complain about being into camps run by the Trump administration. In fact, Jethro insists, they should be “personally thanking Donald Trump and his most trusted gestapo Stephen Miller.”
“They have no idea how good they have it! What if they’d have come up during the Obama years? They’d have been put in one of those gay marriage gun grab abortion FEMA camps Obummer built,” Jethro said. “I’m sure they’d much prefer Trump’s camps. He has the best camps!”
Someone handed Jethro a slip of paper, and he read it. Taking a moment to process what he’d read, Jethro sighed. He took a deep swig from his Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boy, and continued.
“So apparently the dictionary also seems to think that Trump’s running concentration camps,” Bohiggins announced. “So if you’ll excuse me, I have another book to burn at the MAGA rally next week, fam.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.