Boebert: “I Don’t Have to Be Able to Spell Socialism to Condemn It!”

Today, House Republicans will tackle the issue that every American knows is the most important. However, if you thought that meant addressing rising inflation, the cost of natural gas, or even gun violence, then you’d be mistaken, or a soyboybetacuck libtard.

House Republicans are laser focused on condemning socialism.

In a purely symbolic move, Republicans will take to the House floor and pass a resolution that condemns socialism. They haven’t indicated if they’ll condemn the kind of socialism it takes to give rich people tax breaks that cost billions of dollars, or bailouts that let oil and airline companies have both record profits and more of the taxpayers’ money. However, what is clear is that Republicans will be condemning socialism without being able to spell, or define it.

For instance, Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) will be voting for the resolution, despite admitting to reporters that she can’t spell the word, and wouldn’t be able to even find it in a dictionary, much less define what “socialism” really is.

“First of off, I don’t have to know how jack shit is spelt, okay? That’s not a requisition for this jobular position I currently hold, okay,” Boebert shouted at reporters. “Second of off, if socialism isn’t evil, then why did the most morally pure oxycontin and underage Puerto Rican prostitute lover Rush Limbaugh tell me so? I mean, he’d go to Cuba all the time to fuck youngin’s and snort oxy off their tits, so wouldn’t he know best what commie-nism and socialism is? I REST MY CASE!”

@jamboschlarmbo Don’t ever accuse the #Republican Party of having whack priorities. #satire #politics #politik #political #LaurenBoebert ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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