VAN NUYS, CALIFORNIA — You might not remember Clint Malloy, but in the mid-to-late 1990’s he was a “semi-recognizable” stand-up comedian. He was featured on “Night Time Funny Ha-Has,” a short-lived pay cable show that featured comedians delivering 8 minute sets. Malloy tells us that he’s excited for a potential Hillary Clinton for a lot of reasons, but primary on his list is the fact that he will once again get to use his “bread and butter” jokes.
“I haven’t made a good ‘Bill Clinton likes pussy’ joke in, like, 15 years now,” Malloy told us via Skype. Clint says that during the height of the Monica Lewinsky affair, he was “slaying crowds every night” with a ten minute segment of his set that focused solely on how many different ways he could joke about “Bill’s wandering dick.”
Malloy tells us that his jokes about Clinton’s sexual escapades were so “tight” that he was offered and signed a two-year development deal with Columbia TV for his own sitcom. The show would have been centered around a Secret Service agent who worked in the Bill Clinton administration and would serve as Bill’s wing man when they’d go clubbing every night after Hillary went to bed. Clint says despite the show being “rip-roaringly hilarious,” none of the six pilots they shot for it were ever picked up.
“But you know what,” Malloy said as he lit up a cigarette, “that’s all in the past. Which I can now drudge back up and shoehorn into my set and during interviews. And if anyone knows about cramming things where they might not belong, it’d be Bill Clinton. HI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! See what I did there?”
When asked, Clint says that he knows he needs to update his Clinton material to account for the fact that Hillary’s going to be the one in office, not Bill. However, he says that some things “are always funny, no matter what” and that he’ll “roll the dice and take the chance that Bill Clinton blowjob jokes are going to be back in vogue.”
“Look, I play a lot of gigs out in flyover country now,” Clint said, “red states, if you get my drift. These people think Benghazi really is a smoking gun, that Hillary and Bill really had Vince Foster killed, and that both are truly secret communists. So if you think I’m going to leave jokes on the table that I know Cletus, Clem and Skillet will love, you’re fucking crazy. I’m a comedian, it’s my job to make them laugh. Even when ‘them’ is a room full of slack-jawed idiots who still believe to this day that an oral sex crusade was really what the country needed back in 1998.”
Clint Malloy will be appearing at The Guffawing Goat in Sheep’s Plain, Ohio August 19th-21st. Tickets are available at guffawinggoat.com.