Biden Promises to Brief Greene, Boebert on Downed Aircraft as Soon as They Can Spell “UFO”

Published on

Congresswomen Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) and Lauren Boebert (Low IQ, CO) are demanding that President Joe Biden personally brief them on the multiple unidentified aircraft that have been shot down over North American skies in the last week. Today, President Biden addressed their demands.

“Look, folks, I want to give everyone the news. I want to inform everyone who wants to be informed about what’s going on with those aircraft we spotted and shot down,” Biden told reporters in the Oval Office during a signing ceremony this morning, “but when it comes to the horse faced lady and the nice young woman whose husband likes to flash his dingle-dangle at minors at bowling alleys, they need to show me they have a minimal level of literacy before I give them a briefing.”

Biden insisted he wasn’t “picking on or singling” Boebert or Greene out.

“I told Kevin McCarthy the same thing this weekend about pretty much 85% of his party’s delegation in the House,” Biden explained. “I just don’t think it does anyone any good to get a briefing on UFOs when they can’t even spell ‘UFO.’ Even if you give them a hint with ‘UF,’ Squirt!”

Despite protests from Greene and Boebert on their Twitter accounts that Biden was being “elitist” and “full of commie hate” toward them, Biden told the press he took an additional step to encourage them to take him up on his offer.

“Folks, now, you know I’m a reasonable gent. So I sent those nice Christofascist domestic terrorists copies of every Hooked on Phonics tape I could get back from Sarah Palin,” Biden divulged. “I know they can do this if they just buckle down apply themselves. It’s less than one letter per IQ point for them.”


Follow James: PostTikTokTwitterInstagramFacebook

Latest articles

If I Don’t Have a Biden Flag, Biden Shoes, or Biden Bible, Am I Really Voting for Biden?

PROF. McTERRY: And who won the election? JAMES: Well, I don't fuck my cousin, so I know...

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...