Barack Obama Agrees That Donald Trump ‘Doesn’t Have a Racist Bone’ In His Body

A SECRET SOCIALIST KENYAN BUNKER SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA — The battle of words and rhetoric between President Donald Trump and “The Squad,” a four-woman group of freshman congressional representatives, is heating up and not showing any signs of stopping. Trump ignited a firestorm of controversy when he tweeted that the four women, three of whom are American-born and the other is a naturalized citizen, to “go back” to where they came from, implying that their dark skin was indicator of them being foreigners. In the ensuing days, Trump has doubled down on his attacks, insisting he’s not racist.

This morning, Trump tweeted that he “doesn’t have a racist bone in [his] body.” 

“Those tweets were NOT racist,” Trump tweeted, adding, “The so-called vote to be taken is a Democrat con game.” 

Mr. Trump is apparently upset that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has set a special bill up for a floor vote that would condemn Trump’s tweets as racist. Despite building his political career on racial and culture tensions, Trump seems particularly angry at the public implication that he might be racist. Some have pointed to his history of racial issues, whether it’s getting sued in the 1970’s for not renting his apartments to black people, or taking out a full-page ad in The New York Times demanding that the Central Park 5, a group of five exonerated black men accused and convicted of rape falsely, be put to death anyway. 

One person who might know better than anyone how racist, if at all, President Trump is, would be former President Barack Obama (D-Kenya). Mr. Obama was asked this morning on a conference call with other members of the Alinksy Cult of Left-Wing Socialist Commie Libtard Abortion Providers and Gay Marriage Officiants about Trump’s assertion that he doesn’t have a racist bone in his body. After fifteen solid minutes of Obama laughing as hard as he ever has in his life, he took a deep breath and answered the question.

“Of course he doesn’t have a racist bone in his body; he has over 200 of them,” Obama said. “Does anyone have any questions about not-obvious things? I’m pretty sure he has at least one racist bone and it’s the one he keeps trying to put in his daughter.”

Another Story: Local Klansman Doesn’t See Anything Wrong With Trump Telling Four Brown Americans To Go Back Where They Came From

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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