James Schlarmann

Scott Walker Says Protesters Are Like Nazis With AIDS Killing Puppies

Scott Walker has some interesting views on protesters and terrorists.

Scott Walker ‘Not Even Sure Obama is Human’

Is there anything about Obama that Scott Walker is "sure" of?

Rudy Giuliani: ‘I’m Not a Racist. I’m a Pandering Asshole’

Rudy Giuliani says he he didn't make racist comments; he was just pandering to other, IRL-racists.

WalMart Announces Bump in Wages from ‘Sub-Sub-Poverty’ to ‘Plain Old Sub-Poverty’

Wal-Mart has decided to crow about raising their workers' average salaries from sub-sub-poverty rates to just regular sub-poverty.

ELECTION 2016: ISIS Executioner Endorses Dr. Ben Carson

Dr. Ben Carson loves him some war crimes. Which means he's ISIS' ideal presidential candidate.

Texas Judge Wants to Retroactively Block Emancipation Proclamation

Judge Andrew Hanen not only blocked Obama's immigration executive actions, he thinks he can retroactively block the Emancipation Proclamation.

Jeb Bush Has No Comment About the Stinking, Flaming Dog Shit on His Doorstep

Jeb Bush doesn't want to discuss anything in the past, no matter how glaring, terrible and stinky.

Man With Extensive Hat Collection Who Chose Life Without Kids Shames Others for Not Having Kids

Pope Frank says not having kids is a selfish choice. He'd know. He has no kids.

About Me

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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Latest News

Hillary Clinton Circling Mar-A-Lago Shouting “Lock Him up!”

"I told Mr. Trump that quite frankly Ms. Clinton has earned this one, and we won't be doing anything...
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