James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Racist Cops All of Sudden No Longer Racist

“Oh shit! Holy fuck! I can’t believe it’s happening, but it’s really happening,” Black ...

Rand Paul Wonders If Black Lives Really Matter

WASHINGTON, D.C. — There is only one, single member of the Senate Republican caucus ...

4 out of 5 Morons Agree: Trump is a Good President

A new scientific study indicates that 80% of all morons agree that Donald J. ...

Americans Designate MAGA a Terrorist Organization

While the president and his administration have deemed AntiFa — a political ideology that ...

White House Had GrubHub Deliver $42,000 in McDonald’s to Trump’s Bunker

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When President Donald Trump was taken into an underground bunker to ...

Adolf Hitler Endorses Labeling AntiFa A ‘Terrorist Organization’

HELL, HELL — Former German President, and, still pretty much the worst human being ...

Pat Robertson: “You Will Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby Jesus”

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA — Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who ...