James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Trump Also Nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, President Donald Trump awoke to some good news for ...

Obama Confirms Sinking Trump Boats Was Final Mission of Operation Jade Helm

SECRET COMMIE SHARIA BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN KENYA — Former President and current Dark Lord ...

Trump Corrects the Record on Fallen Soldiers: “I Actually Called Them FUCKING Losers”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — An explosive new story in The Atlantic has put Trumplandia — the Republican ...

FEC Warns Americans to Look Out For Deepfakes That Make Trump Look Competent or Intelligent

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Federal Elections Commission is imploring all American voters to “keep ...

Campbell’s Unveils New “Homestyle Chunky Antifa Missile Stew”

CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY — Campbell’s Soup announced today that a brand new recipe will ...

Ivanka: “If Anyone is Stroking Daddy, I Would Know About It!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Why was President Donald J. Trump rushed to Walter Reed Memorial ...

STUDY: The Worst-Run Democrat Cities Are in The Worst-Run Republican Country

A newly published study seems to indicate that all the worst-run Democrat cities happen ...