facebook

James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
2624 Posts
http://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo

Surgeon General Recommends Shitting on Ted Cruz Twice Daily

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The acting Surgeon General of the United States has issued a new set of guidelines for the continued health and well-being...
Read more

United Airlines Ending Its Frequent Fuckface Miles Program

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
United Airlines has announced that after careful consideration of the events of the past 48 hours they will be ending their Frequent Fuckface Miles...
Read more

Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often speaks to God about what's going in the United States. In particular, Robertson...
Read more

Satan Tells Limbaugh to ‘Fuck Off Out Of Here’

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
HELL -- Satan "Billy" Beelzebub does not want recently deceased radio host Rush Limbaugh "anywhere within 500 eternal yards" of Hell, and he made...
Read more

Jim Jordan Blames Cancel Culture for His Miniscule Dick

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Jim Jordan has a very, very, very, very small dick. Jordan's dick is so small that Former President Donald Trump's dick...
Read more

Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn't running because it's a federal holiday. Today is...
Read more

Impeachment: Hawley Says He Hasn’t Heard Convincing Evidence From Within Trump’s Peepee Hole

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From his vantage point, Senator Josh Hawley (Q-MO) says he hasn't seen any evidence that should convict the former president of...
Read more

Babylon Bee Staff Identify as Comedians Though They Share Only One Joke Between Them

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
In practice, they're a cadre of Christofascists who wrap their theocratic beliefs in the banner of alleged "satire." However, on paper and official government...
Read more

Former President Says His Balls are ‘Really Bigly Missing’ Devin Nunes and Ted Cruz These Days

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
LAKE DUMFUK, FLORIDA -- He hasn't even been out of power for a full month yet, but sources close to the 45th President of...
Read more

AOC Reiterates She’ll Never Fuck Anyone Who Writes For the Babylon Bee

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how many attempts at satire they write at her expense, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will not now, nor will she...
Read more

Americans Shocked to See Rich Middle-Aged White Conservative Woman Pretend She’s a Victim

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
It was a shocking scene in the nation's capitol today. Not because it was the site of another deadly insurrection inspired by the Big...
Read more

Biden Politely Declines Lindsey Graham’s Offer of Four Years of Public Beejers

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The note President Biden sent to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) yesterday morning contained a very short message. "Thanks, but no thanks, Lindsey." MORE:...
Read more
1234...219Page 3 of 219

Latest articles

Popular articles

Featured

Newsletter

© Into the Garbage Chute (All works are satirical)