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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
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MAGA News

Doctors Unsure How Peter Strzok Got His Foot So Far Up Trey Gowdy’s Sphincter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a marathon, all-day hearing of the House Oversight and Judiciary...
World News

Report: Trump UK Protest Larger Than His Inauguration Crowd

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); LONDON, ENGLAND -- President Donald Trump is in the United...
Lifestyle

6 Hot Tips For Secretly Video Recording Two Airplane Passengers Hooking Up

Are you looking to cash-in on the opportunities that are afforded to people who...
MAGA News

Trump Left “Upper Decker” In Conference Hall Bathroom After Departing NATO Summit

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM -- Reports are coming in that President Donald Trump left behind a...
Business

Richard Spencer Named Papa John’s New Chairman

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- In an attempt fill the vacancy left by outgoing chairman and...
U.S. Politics

Brett Kavanaugh Turns In List of Civil Rights He Doesn’t Acknowledge to Mitch McConnell

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- D.C. appeals judge Brett Kavanaugh was formally introduced as President Trump's...
MAGA News

Trump Open Hand Smacks Merkel Across Face and Tells Her ‘Vladimir Putin Says Hello’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBLTdQyZiyw BRUSSELS, BELGIUM -- President Trump made quite an international splash at the annual NATO...
Lifestyle

Trump: ‘Ivanka Helped Me See A Different Perspective On Breastfeeding’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his presidency thus far, Donald Trump has...
MAGA News

Kavanaugh Assures Senate He Only Thinks One Particular Orange Shit Clown President Is Above The Law, Not All Of Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Brett Kavanaugh, a political operative turned D.C. appeals circuit judge, has...
Sports

Jim Jordan Going To Keep Watching Rescued Thai Soccer Players, Just In Case

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The office of Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH SHIT I SHOULD HAVE...
MAGA News

Trump Calls SCOTUS Pick To Ensure They’ll Fix His Parking Tickets and/or Obstructions of Justice and/or Treasons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has reportedly made up his mind about who...
Lifestyle

Warren Agrees to DNA Test on Condition of Trump Spelling Test

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The heated, bitter war of words between Senator Liz Warren and...
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Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)