James Schlarmann

Republican Math (VIDEO)

It takes a "special" brand of mathematical theory to understand the Republicans, and this Republican is going to teach you that theory.

Republican Science Explained By A Republican (VIDEO)

This Republican will tell you how science is going to change when his party takes control of the Senate.

#IAMAREPUBLICAN About Your Uterus (Video)

Another #IAMAREPUBLICAN from the GOP; this time on women's health issues.

5 Things You’ll Fail At If You Only Do Them 39% (VIDEO)

Voter turnout was only 39% in the 2014 midterm. But don't feel bad, America, you'll fail at these OTHER, less consequential things at that rate too

Who Wore It Best: Politician Edition

Fashion isn't just for the fashionable, it's for the unfashionably out of touch and consumed with their power!

A Republican Tells Us What Obama Can Do To Get Impeached Next Year

The Republicans really want to impeach President Obama, and we finally have one who's willing to be honest about why.

This Republican Explains His Party’s Opposition to Barack Obama’s Climate Accord

This Republican tells us why his party is against the international climate change pact with the world's largest polluter that President Obama signed.

5 Things That Are Up Sean Hannity’s Ass (VIDEO)

Recently Sean Hannity said Jon Stewart's head is up Obama's ass, but what's up Sean's ass? We took a look.

Why Hunter Thompson’s Ghost Is Giving Us the Gleeful Finger From the Great Beyond

I think I know at least part of the reason why Hunter Thompson took his own life -- despair at the futility of it all.

A Report from the Front Lines of the War on Christmas

We sent our top reporter to the front line of the War on Christmas to get the down and dirty on how the plot to erase Christianity from America by way of a winter holiday is going.

About Me

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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