James Schlarmann

Proper Rioting Etiquette With Confused White Guy (VIDEO)

No, no upset African-Americans! You're doing the rioting thing all wrong. Let Confused White Guy show you how to do it right.

Republican Equality (VIDEO)

Think Republicans aren't into the whole "equality" thing, think again! They just have their own version of it!

5 Things the House Republicans’ Benghazi Report Proved (VIDEO)

Did you miss the latest House Intelligence report on the Benghazi attack? Don't worry, we've got your run-down of all the important stuff here.

5 Ways Obama’s Acting Like a Monarch These Days (VIDEO)

Republicans keep saying Obama's acting like a monarch, and we have five ways they're totally right!

5 Subjects Taught at George W Bush Elementary (VIDEO)

A city in Texas is going to name a school after George W. Bush, and these are some of the subjects that will be taught at George W. Bush Elementary.

Republican Governance (VIDEO)

Worried about how the Republicans are going to govern next year? Maybe this guy will help make you feel better about it.

5 Reasons Rand Paul Will Totally Be President One Day (VIDEO)

Here are 5 reasons Randy might as well start practicing the oath of office right now.

5 Reasons Barack Obama Has For Carrying Bush and Cheney’s Torture Water (VIDEO)

Why on Earth would Obama cover for Dubya? We have some thoughts.

5 Things That Really Make Americans Stupid (VIDEO)

John Boehner recently said that President Obama would be calling voters "stupid" if he vetoed Keystone pipeline legislation. But what actually makes Americans dumb?

How to Tell If You’re an Asshole Part Forever: You Think ‘Social Justice Warrior’ Is An Insult

Do you think calling someone a Social Justice Warrior is an insult to them and not you? Congratulations, you're an Asshole!

About Me

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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