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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...
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Criminal Justice

President’s Plane Renamed “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because Special Counsel Robert...
Tech

Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying

SWILLYCORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a new application they say...
MAGA News

Trump Regrets Lying About Lying About Telling Michael Cohen to Lie About Him Lying

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Donald Trump came down from the White House's presidential residence...
Tech

Elon Musk Buys and Assimilates Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire tech guru and innovator Elon Musk isn't content to...
The Democrats

DNC Wants Bernie Sanders to Take Blood Oath and Kiss Chair’s Ring Before Trying to Help the Party Win

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, several key outlets reported that Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), has...
Women's Rights

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “How Dare Democrats Kill Babies Before We Can Deprive Them of Basic Needs?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY), Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee,...
MAGA News

Trump: ‘I Didn’t Obstruct Justice, I Just Tried to Impede an Investigation!’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump lashed out the media, Democrats, and Special...
MAGA News

Trump’s CPAC Flag Asks Why He ‘Couldn’t He Have Just Taken a Knee Instead’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the...
MAGA News

Trump Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative...
MAGA News

Michael Avenatti’s New Client Says Trump Sexually Assaulted Her In Front of Hundreds at CPAC

NORTH HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- The attorney who represented Stormy Daniels in multiple suits against...
MAGA News

Trump Complained to Aides He Didn’t Get to Stay in Hanoi Hilton Like ‘That Fake War Hero McCain’

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump abruptly walked away from his much-ballyhooed summit with...
Arts & Entertainment

Nielsen: More People Watched Michael Cohen’s Testimony Than Wanted to Watch Trump’s Inauguration

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Nielsen Ratings company has been tracking what Americans...
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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