James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

“My 5 Favorite iPhone Games” by Sen. John McCain

A leaked guest article from John McCain for a conservative tech magazine gives us ...

Fuck Yeah! We’re (Page View) Millionaires!

This article is monetized and some content is for Coil Members only.Get Coil to ...

5 Reasons You Give a Shit What Mitt Romney Thinks About Obama’s Second Term

Mitt Romney recently made some comments about Obama's second term, presuming that anyone cares. ...

5 Bigger Assholes Than Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK)

Heartless Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK) thinks tornado victims in his state don't really need ...

8 Reasons Why Ted Cruz NEEDS To Run For President In 2016

Ted Cruz really must love us. He's already talking about a 2016 presidential bid.

5 “Facts” The George W. Bush Library Will Lay Out

Former President George W. Bush says his new library will be a "place to ...