James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

White Privilege, Pssshawww (Video)

Does White Privilege exist? The Clueless White Guy has some thoughts.

5 Republican Pick Up Lines

Are you a Republican looking to make time with a lady folk? Try one ...

Seriously It Was Just a F**king Tweet Guys (VIDEO)

Conan O'Brien and Madeleine Albright had a little fun on Twitter this week, so ...

5 Ways the War on Drugs Has Totally Succeeded (VIDEO)

So you think spending billions of dollars on the War on Drugs was a ...

5 Lesser Known Rand Paul Conspiracy Theories

Rand Paul's got some pretty "out there conspiracy theories." Do you believe we've found ...