James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
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God Sent 40 Million Prayers for Donald Trump Straight to Voicemail

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past weekend, Franklin Graham called for a "Special...

Researchers Identify New Strain of Aggressive Rectal Cancer and Name It “William Barr”

LAKE CRISE CONSTITUTIONNELLE, MICHIGAN -- A new, fast moving and particularly aggressive form of...

Researchers Identify New Strain of Aggressive Rectal Cancer and Name It “William Barr”

LAKE CRISE CONSTITUTIONNELLE, MICHIGAN -- A new, fast moving and particularly aggressive form of...

After 14 Hours in the UK Without Fox News, President Convinced Donald Trump Is Danger to America

LONDONTOWNSHIPSHIRE, ENGLANDVILLE KINGDOM -- Upon arriving in the United Kingdom for a three day...

Trump Outraged Queen Elizabeth Was Watching CNN in the Throne Room When He Arrived

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Queen Elizabeth was sitting on her throne, speaking with various aides...

UK Protests of His State Visit Prompt Trump to Threaten “American Revolution II”

LONDON, ENGLAND -- The American president's state visit to the United Kingdom is not...

Trump Says His First Lady Is ‘Way, Way, Way Hotter’ Than Meghan Markle

LONDON, ENGLAND -- President Donald Trump's state visit to the United Kingdom is already...

Economists Predict Medicare For All Could Be Funded For 400 Years By Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an...

Pro-Life Evangelical Wants to Officially Move Christmas to March

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and music sensation Jethro Bohiggins is petitioning...

Alabama Decriminalizes Rape To Keep More Families Together

PALPATINE FOREST, ALABAMA -- In a truly unforeseen turn of events down in the...

Nancy Pelosi Doesn’t Want Firefighters to Put Her House Out Until It’s Politically Expedient

IVORY TOWER, CALIFORNIA -- A home owned by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi...

Texas Democrat Authors Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republican lawmakers in the State of Texas are trying to get...

Latest articles

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...