James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Bernie Sanders Gives Speech Hillary ‘Plans to Crib From Heavily’

Bernie Sanders gave a rousing speech to start his presidential campaign, which excites Team ...

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #409

Another weekly look at the stockpile of arms Obama has taken from the people.

5 Ways Obama Has Totally Destroyed the Constitution

How has Obama destroyed the Constitution? We have five ways right here, pal.

Reince Priebus: GOP Hired Engineers To Fit All 180 Candidates on Debate Stage

RNC Chairman Reince Priebus says his party's re-engineered stage will fit all the myriad ...

Pat Robertson: ‘I’m Not Sure Who or What to Blame Texas Flooding On’

Rev. Pat Robertson just can't figure out why super-conservative, super-Christian Texas was hit with ...

Rand Paul: ‘Universal Health Care Means Doctors Are Well-Paid Slaves!’

Rand Paul doesn't believe in Universal Health Care, partially because he has no clue ...