James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
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I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the...

What DO You Get The Horse-Faced Cave Troll Insurrectionist In Your Life for Valentine’s Day?

"...a lovely new feedbag might be the way to go. But she just signed...

Tucker’s Putin Interview Was the Most Boring BJ Video I’ve Ever Seen on the Internet

"...in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of curiosity I had...

If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin Pewpsin. The views...

Tallahassee Pill Sees His Shadow and Will Have Four More Years of Not Being President

"He could still be president of his local chapter of the Proud Boys, or...

To Save Trump’s Business Empire, It’s Time to Hand Control to Taylor Swift

Clearly, nobody currently on Team Trump has any idea how to run a business...

I Finally Saw Hunter Biden’s Dick. The Bad News for Republicans? It Didn’t Make Me a Fascist.

Midge was so intent on making sure that every American saw Hunter's cock that...

Our Whole Office Chipped-In and Got Ron DeSantis a Disney World Annual Pass to Cheer Him Up

When he rides "Pirates of the Caribbean," he may be off-put by seeing men...

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me I Had Fucking Presidential Immunity?!

The following editorial was written and submitted by former President and alive human, Richard...

Should Seal Team 6 or the A-Team Be Used for Generalissimo Biden’s Lawful Hit on Trump?

Don't get me wrong -- obviously Biden will do it, and obviously the judges...

George Santos Talked to Us About His Inspiration Behind Steamboat Willie

"...when you're someone like me -- and granted there are so very few who...

First It’s Green Day. Who’s Next – Rage Against the Machine?!

The following editorial was written by Chad Beefington, a right-wing commentator. The views and...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...