James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
2627 Posts

Robert T. Antifa is Tired of Liberals Calling His Very Real Organization ‘Just an Idea’

"I don't see Unicorn Farts or Loch Ness Monster Holdings, or the Catholic Church being treated with such disdain and fear."

Matt Gaetz Mocks Biden For Not Licking a Single Authoritarian Dictator’s Taint Yet

"I bet Sleepy Joe doesn't even KNOW where Kim Jong-Un's G-spot is!"

DeSantis to Write Memoir: “How to Let 33,000 People Die and Still Be Considered a Success”

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) has been taking a victory lap in the media this week, touting the fact that his state's economy seems...

Is It Antifa or Cancel Culture’s Fault You Keep Getting In Trouble for The Things You Say And Do?

Sure, you could stop saying and doing things that are offensive, but why would you do something mature when you can blame Antifa or cancel culture instead?

Pope Francis Says Catholic Church Can Still Bless and Cover-Up Same-Sex Molestations

VATICAN CITY, VATICAN -- Pope Francis issued a statement this weekend barring priests in the Church from blessing same-sex marriages. He did, however, approve...

Cuomo Considering Jump to GOP So He Can Do Whatever He Wants and Have The Support of His Party

"They had a guy in the White House for four years that has credible allegations against him, and never said a word about it."

Arizona Republicans File Bill Making it Illegal to Register as a Democrat

"It will definitely be a capital offense, no doubt about it."

Women in Arkansas Now Have 90 Days to Register Their Reproductive Organs

Due to a new harsh abortion restriction, women in Arkansas have 90 days to register their junk.

Papa John’s New Slogan: “Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. No N-Words After 20 Months of Deprogramming.”

"Congratulations, John, on entering the 21st century just a couple of decades too late!"

Jim Jordan Shares Freedom Fries With the Dixie Chicks While Blasting ‘Cancel Culture’

On a park bench not far from the nation's capitol complex, Qongressman Jim Jordan sits with country band The Dixie Chicks, sharing a large...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Bill Legalizing Insurrections

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) filed articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden on the very first day on the job....

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