James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Trump Demands Toyota Immediately Produce Vaccine for “Corollavirus”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump has issued and official presidential demand to ...

Trump Issues Executive Order for Dow Jones to Work Like Golf Scores

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the markets opened today, the Dow Jones Industrial average opened ...

Five Humans and Two Billionaires Hold Two Hour Shouting Match

SOUTH CAROLINA — Last night, five human beings and two billionaires held a two-hour ...

Trump Administration Tells Americans Coronavirus Would Have Been Stopped By Trump’s Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump’s presidential administration told reporters today that while they don’t ...

Bloomberg: “I Paid Broads Like They Were As Good at Their Jobs As Men”

GOLD VALLEY, UTAH — Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has been dumping millions of ...