Search
HomeAuthorsPosts by James Schlarmann

James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
facebookinstagramtiktokyoutube
https://linktr.ee/jamboschlarmbo
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...
spot_img

Keep exploring

Arts & Entertainment

Jesus Really Loved Sam Smith’s and Kim Petras’ Grammy Performance

Many conservative commentators have been apoplectic about singers Sam Smith and Kim Petras appearance...
Science & Medicine

Scientist Proves MTG is a Barely Sentient Glob of Congealed Mayonnaise in a Vanilla Pudding Cup

A world-renowned medical researcher announced results of a groundbreaking study he just concluded recently,...
LGTBQ+

Matt Gaetz to Personally Collect Florida’s Student Athlete Menstrual Data

The State of Florida is set to begin collecting menstrual data from its high...
MAGA News

DeSantis Demands to Know Why Biden Hasn’t Also Shot Down Any Big Black Balloons

An angry Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) lashed out at the Biden administration for what...
MAGA News

Trump: China Sent Him Three Balloons as Gifts for Opening Secret Bank Accounts

Hours after former President Trump criticized how long it took President Joe Biden to...
World News

Biden Tells MTG He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Balloon When She Finds China or Montana on a Map

President Joe Biden was asked today about whether or not he's heard the calls...
Economy

Conservative Economist Predicts Inflation Will Fall 200% If Everyone Sees Hunter Biden’s Dick

When the Republican Party secured control of the House of Representatives in last year's...
MAGA News

Boebert: “I Don’t Have to Be Able to Spell Socialism to Condemn It!”

Today, House Republicans will tackle the issue that every American knows is the most...
Lifestyle

Punxsutawney Phil Tells Kari Lake She’ll Spend Four More Years Not Being Governor

This morning, Punxsutawney Phil, the seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, awoke from his...
Criminal Justice

Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked By NY AG If He Was Ivanka’s Lover, Father, or Employer

Recently, it was revealed that when he was deposed by the New York Attorney...
Lifestyle

DeSantis Orders February Removed from All School Calendars

Today, the first day of February, marks the beginning of Black History Month. Except...
MAGA News

George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year...
Load more

Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)