James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Bill Barr Is Totally Outraged (Wink, Wink) by Trump’s Inappropriate Tweets (Wink, Wink)

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General William Barr is, like, really very unnerved (wink, wink) ...

Hillary Clinton Offers to Represent Roger Stone at Future Parole Hearings

LAKE FOREST, NEW YORK — Former Secretary of State and 2016 Democratic presidential candidate ...

Trump Orders Brad Pitt Sent to Gitmo for ‘Treasonous’ Oscars Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump has issued an official order to the ...

Devin Nunes Assures Trump He Won’t Stop Sucking Him Off Even Though Impeachment Trial Is Over

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources are reporting that late last night, Congressman Devin Nunes delivered ...