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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
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LGTBQ+

Jesus Thinks “Creepy Weirdo” Matt Walsh Should Focus on Own His Junk

Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Daily Caller commentator Matt Walsh's work....
Science & Medicine

Biden Tells Trump He’ll Race Him Upstairs to See Who Takes Cognitive Test First

The one thing it seems every Americans knows they need most isn't food, clothing,...
Economy

Economic Models Project Which Red States Become Third World Countries After National Divorce

Horse faced cave troll and Congresswoman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) shocked many outside...
Conservative Media

MTG Hopeful Tucker Carlson Only Shows January 6th Footage From Her Good Side

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) praised alleged Speaker Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) for releasing more...
World News

Boebert Slams Biden for Spending President’s Day in Country She Can’t Find on a Map

This morning, President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Ukraine, and met with...
MAGA News

MTG’s Attorney Says He Can Handle National Divorce For Her, Too

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) lashed out at President Joe Biden because he chose...
Lifestyle

DeSantis Bans Minors from Attending Scottish Highland Games

Each year, all over America, people partake in the Scottish Highland Games -- a...
Conservative Media

Dominion Reveals Hannity, Ingraham, Carlson Texted About No Longer Liking Taste of Trump’s D

This week newly revealed court filings in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox News, texts...
Criminal Justice

Gaetz Takes Date to Chuck E. Cheese to Celebrate Not Being Charged for Underage Sex Trafficking

It was truly a day of celebration for Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL). Earlier in the...
Tech

Musk Will Start Charging Twitter Users $500 to Block Him

On Super Bowl Sunday, alt-right billionaire plutocrat Elon Musk was extremely alarmed when his...
Arts & Entertainment

DeSantis Bars Florida’s Kids From Watching Monty Python, Kids in the Hall

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is not done fighting the forces of woke and protecting...
U.S. Politics

Mike Pence: “I Will Not Testify, But Please Keep Waving Your Subpoenas In My Face!”

While speaking to a convention of pro-life stay-at-home moms this weekend, former Vice President...
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Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)