James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Coronavirus Placed on 24-Hour Suicide Watch

Authorities are telling us that the novel coronavirus, known globally as “Covid-19,” has been ...

Kellyanne Conway Chose…Poorly

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In hindsight, her friends and family say that White House senior ...

Obama Warns Biden Against Tan Suits and Dijon Mustards

SECRET KENYAN SHARIA BUNKER — Outgoing President Donald J. Trump may not want to ...

Palpatine Demands Death Star Recount, Claims Empire Won the Battle of Yavin

CORUSCANT — Emperor Palpatine refuses to concede the Battle of Yavin the Rebel Alliance. ...

RNC Quietly Removes “Supporting American Democracy” from Party Platform

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Republican National Committee has taken down the phrase “Supporting American ...