James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady ...

Unknown White House Official Tried Convincing Trump COVID-19 Was Obama’s Idea

WASHINGTON, D.C. — To many outside observers, it appears that President Donald Trump is ...

Trump Tells Taliban They Owe Him a Cut

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Whether or not the president was briefed on Russia’s efforts to ...

Should I Be Concerned That My Penile Discharge Looks Exactly Like Stephen Miller?

Author’s Note: Before reading this column any further, please be advised that I will ...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked and flown into ...

CDC Testing Effectiveness of Racial Slurs on COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control, at the request of the White ...

Antifa Millennials Topple Mrs. Butterworth Statue

LENIN, MISSISSIPPI — A local AntiFa franchise, working under the direction of its millennial ...