Washington D.C. -- Following comments made by Democratic candidate for President Marianne Williamson that Donald Trump represented a "dark psychic force of the collectivized hatred," Senator Lindsey Graham announced that he challenged her to a "duel to the death"...
Clovis, CA -- Future active shooter and area incel Garth Gall spent the latter half of the day sulking after he received a C- minus on his manifesto entitled "Rotting From the Inside Out: Make America Great Again." Mr....
Pyongyang, North Korea -- The Official new agency of the DPRK announced yesterday that the North Korea government had reached a tentative deal to purchase American basketball legend, Michael Jordan. The deal, which is rumored at 90 million dollars,...
Washington D.C. -- Activists took to social media over the weekend calling on Twitter to ban President Trump after he referred to NBC's Meet the Press anchor Chuck Todd as a "libtard." The tweet, which was posted in the...
Washington, D.C. -- In a surprise executive order, the Trump Administration announced on Friday that it plans to license and deploy aerial drones to conduct Chemtrail spraying operations. In a lengthy 97 page document, the Administration went into great...
Montgomery, AL -- The Alabama Supreme Court ruled 8-1 in favor that God is real and that the citizens of the conservative state must follow, in the words of the ruling, "the Lord's literal and explicit words in the...
Twin Falls, ID -- Former California resident Harley Barton gave up on his golden state dreams and moved his family to Twin Falls, Idaho late last year. Citing the cost of living and the 'flatlanders' moving around his Yreka...
Sacramento, CA -- A Mokelumne Hill man is in critical but stable condition after falling from the Forest Hill bridge in what appears to be a failed suicide attempt. Robert Allen was checked into UC Davis Medical Center in...
Atlanta, GA -- The world's largest home improvement retailer announced today that it plans on sponsoring up to 129 miles of President Trump's border wall. Home Depot, known for its labyrinth-like shopping experience and employees who avoid eye-contact says...
CASCADE SHORES, CA -- A local family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffered the loss of the...
