Area Birther ‘Disappointed Trump Abandoned’ Movement, Remains ‘Hopeful He’s Still At Least Racist’

GREENVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA — When 28-year-old Josh Williams turned on the TV in the break room at his job last Friday and saw Donald Trump on it, he was excited. Williams is a die-hard Trump supporter and said he’s wanted the alleged billionaire to run for president ever since he saw a tweet from Trump in 2013 that affirmed he was a member of the birther movement. Williams says that he’s known “all along” that President Obama was not born in America, and he was proud to throw his support behind a candidate who “knew the truth” just like he did.

But when Trump declared matter of factly at last week’s press conference from his new D.C. area hotel that Obama had in fact been born in the United States, Williams says he was “disappointed.” When Trump said it was he who had put the birther question to rest, Williams say he fought back an onset of depression. Now, Williams says, he’s “hopeful [Trump]’s still at least racist.”

“Man, when I saw Trump up on that television set telling people he knew Obama was born in America,” Josh told our reporter, “I was so mad. I was disappointed Trump abandoned our birther movement. It’s one thing for the mainstream libtarded media to deny Obama’s Kenyan birth just because there’s no so-called evidence, but for the chief birther to give up his seat at the head of the table? I guess at this point I’m just hopeful he’s still at least racist.”

Josh told us that he’ll be watching Trump and his surrogates’ Twitter feeds very carefully in the next few days. He said he wants to see some more retweets of white nationalists and debunked racist crime stats, or he’s not sure what he’ll do come November.




“I better at least hear some dog whistle racist shit about welfare queens or Black Lives Matters being a terrorist organization,” Williams said, “or I may just sit this one out.”

Williams explained that he and his fellow racist Americans have “been Republicans basically since the Voting Rights Act” but are now “sick and tired of only being pandered to when it comes to elections.” He says that’s why Mitt Romney and John McCain lost; racist Americans want to feel special and pandered to just like everyone else, Josh says.

“We waited a long time to have an overt racist as our candidate, and I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to vote for another RINO — that’s racist in name only — who will only pay veiled lip service to my innate fear and ignorance toward people with darker skin than me. But on the other hand, I hate libtards and Killary Clintstoned so much…oh, what do? WHAT DO?”


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.