Historians Have Found Andrew Jackson’s Civil War Diary, and We Have an Exclusive First Look!

Recently, alleged President Donald J. Trump told an interviewer for The Washington Examiner that President Andrew Jackson may have been able to stop the American Civil War from taking place. The interview raised many eyebrows because in it, Trump seemed to suggest the Civil War was avoidable, and that Jackson would have had a “big heart” and been able to stop the country from sliding off onto a path that Abraham Lincoln could not keep it off.

As The Hill reported:

“I mean had Andrew Jackson been a little bit later you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart,” Trump said during an interview with the Washington Examiner’s Salena Zito.

“He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War, he said, ‘There’s no reason for this.'” (source)

While many people on both sides of the aisle were quick to point out that it was probably literally impossible for Andrew Jackson to have any thoughts or observations on anything that happened outside the boundaries of his own lifespan, The Political Garbage Chute is excited to announce that we have in fact been given the scoop of the century…or the scoop of a century and a half ago, to be more accurate. Our team of historians is working hard to verify the provenance of the artifact. We could not sit on this development, however, without letting our readership know about this potentially world changing development.

Following the publication of one our news items, we were contacted by the Nathan Bedford Forrest Academy of History, and they told us they were in possession of a truly rare artifact — Andrew Jackson’s Civil War diary. They agreed to send us a copy of the diary, and what follows is an exclusive look at what the 7th President of the United States thought about the war to save the union, which he heretofore was presumed to have been too dead to have experienced.

[pdf-embedder url=”http://www.politicalgarbagechute.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/AJCWDIary-1.pdf” title=”AJCWDIary”]

The Trump Administration did not respond to a request for comment on this story.

Follow James on Twitter @JamesSchlarmann.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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