Alt-Right Voter Hopes Trump Stops Bashing Women And Gets Back To Stoking Hate For Mexicans And Muslims

Self-described “Chief Alpha Anti-Cuck Male” Bill Palazzio is a Donald Trump supporter, and a member of what has been dubbed by many in the media as the “alt-right” movement. Mr. Palazzio is a fairly well-known figure in the movement, as host of a popular podcast called “Alt-Right Is All-Right!” During an episode recorded over the weekend, Palazzio indicated he was a little nervous with how much focus to bashing women that Trump has done in recent days.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Palazzio said to his audience, “I love that he went after that fat pig Alicia Machado. I mean, any good, clean, ammo-hoarding patriot knows that gender equality is cultural Marxist bull puckey and the only way to keep America fantastic is to ensure that useless socially enforced gender roles remain the norm.”

However, Palazzio says that he’s worried if Trump focuses solely on bashing women, he’ll lose a key demographic.

“White nationalists get a little bored and tune out if you’re not scapegoating Mexicans and Muslims every ten to fifteen minutes, ” Palazzio warned, “and Trump’s been getting off that xenophobic message for a week or so now. Kinda scary.”

Palazzio says that Trump’s attempt to distance himself from his nearly-decade long obsession with Birtherism was a moment he got “an eyebrow raise” out of him.

“Birtherism was Trump’s baby for yers,” Palazzio said, “and let’s face it, it’s the reason most of us even remotely trusted him. For almost a decade a whole heapin’ hell of a lot of us believed deep down inside our white-sheet covered bones that Obama was a Kenyan usurper with a fake birth certificate. Trump stoked those fires for years, even after he says he finished the debate in 2011. For him to turn his back on the birther thing? Crazy.”

In another segment, Palazzio addressed Trump’s attacks on Hillary Clinton over her husband Bill’s history of philandering.

“No doubt it’s a really solid play for a guy like Trump who has probably had adulterous sex more than he’s had sex in wedlock to go after a woman for her husband’s wandering dick,” Palazzio said, “but can’t he at least stick a racist dog whistle in there somewhere?”

Ultimately, Palazzio says Trump is now “learning the delicate tight rope walk of racism, misogyny, xenophobia, Christian Dominionism and white supremacy” every Republican candidate since 1968 has had to do.

“When Nixon embraced the Southern Strategy to suck up to racist southern Democrats angry over the Civil Rights act,” Palazzio said, “it made it so that every Republican politician had to at least quietly ignore the blatant racism and bigotry of a large portion of their base. Dog whistle phrases like Welfare Queen had to be invented so that non-racist whites could feel like they were only demagogueing people based on their income level, and not their skin color while racists had to feel assured that they were demagogueing people based on their skin tone and their income level.”

If Trump doesn’t stay on message in regards to Muslims and Mexican immigrants, Palazzio fears he may unwind all the work that previous Republican nominees have done to covertly court American racists.

“Starting his campaign calling the overwhelming majority of Mexican immigrants murderers, rapists, and drug dealers was a fine start,” Palazzio told his podcast audience, “and all the stuff about Mexico paying for his wall was the stuff of Republican cream dreams! But then he goes and backs away from the Birther thing and starts going a little too crazy on the women bashing thing, which is fine of course, but it shouldn’t be his campaign’s main message. That should remain, ‘Fuck the Mexicans and Muzzies, cuz freedom.’ The simpler and more racist the better, if you ask me.”

The Trump campaign could not be reached for comment.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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