A Complete List of Billionaire Pedophile Illegal Immigrant Mass Shooters in the News This Week

In the last two weeks, there have been at least three high-profile mass shootings, one of which, in El Paso, was directly inspired by President Trump’s white nationalist rhetoric. In the same time period, the country has been consumed by a second storyline of national importance — the case of accused, now deceased, billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. While the country has been enthralled by news stories about mass, bullet riddled carnage and the less than normal-seeming suicide of Epstein, there have still been hundreds of detained undocumented people, “illegal immigrants” to some in Trump’s base, held in detainment centers indefinitely. Many of the detained people have been separated from their families, and scores are underage minors.

The convergence of all these stories drove those of us here at The Political Garbage Chute to do a little research. We were looking for the nexus of these stories. Were there any billionaire pedophile illegal immigrant mass shooters in the news? It would take some intense, deep, and rigorous Google searching to find the answer to that question. After all, the President of the United States has repeated over and over again that the situation at the border is letting in illegal immigrants who are all rapists, murderers, and drug dealers. He’s made it abundantly clear that undocumented people are literally the most dangerous to our American way of life.

So, surely, there must be at least a few dozen billionaire pedophile illegal immigrant mass shooters, and that’s exactly what we went looking for. Here, now, is the entire manifest, every single, solitary name of a person who was here illegally and committed not only a mass shooting, but who was also a billionaire pedophile. Since we all know illegal immigration is a crime that is worse than literally any other crime, it’s out of a sense of duty to the public that we publish the following list of billionaire pedophile mass shooters who happen to be illegal immigrants.

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A Complete List of Billionaire Pedophile Illegal Immigrant Mass Shooters in the News This Week:

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because they have a definition of hate speech that includes “calling Ann Coulter the C-word.”

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James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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